I know a woman, who, 80 years ago, in 1945, was waiting for her boyfriend to return home from WW II after the war’s end, so they could get married. He did, but she told him she had a lump in her left breast. Turned out to be malignant. No real chemotherapy then, so they amputated her left breast and tore out all the lymph nodes in the left side of her body. Gave her three months to live.
Her boyfriend said let’s get married. At least we’ll have three months together. So they did. That woman lived another 50 years cancer free and had two children. I am one of them.
This is so true. I have some of those scars you mentioned. I particularly like the permanent dot tattoos forever reminding me of my time with the giant radiation machine nicknamed Vivian by the techs. I had triple negative breast cancer - a scary kind. But here’s to new treatments like immunotherapy that is prolonging lives. 💕
Thank you for this thoughtful piece. I have double mastectomy scars, no reconstruction. And scars on my abdomen from ovaries removed. The scars that no one can see. I heard it said lately and this struck me as so true. Once cancer screams in your face it will always whisper in your ear.
This is lovely and I needed to read it today. I am newly diagnosed with ILC, after a lifetime of chronic illnesses and trauma, including from physical assault. I've always had very low self esteem especially in regards to my appearance, and additionally have always felt that my only use/function was sexual. At 43, I still really struggle with this. It's been about 10 years since my ex stabbed me several times in the abdomen/arm/leg, and then the lapy after to make sure nothing internal got nicked, and some of those scars are very faded but still visible. I had to have my jaw and nose reconstructed and dental implants. I barely got through all of that and then I get diagnosed in October, and all I can think is, losing more pieces. Gaining more scars. More parts to hate.
I hope that I can manage to get it together and deal with this with as much grace as you have demonstrated. 💙
Ki, thank you so much for sharing this. I appreciate your vulnerability. I'm so sorry for your recent diagnosis, especially after all you've already been through. I too have had other trauma in my life, and when I was diagnosed with cancer I remember thinking, "Can I just catch a break already?" For now, just focus on getting through treatment. Then you can start working on the self-acceptance piece💗
I have 3 scars - one on each breast and one in the left armpit. I also have 8 tattoos (dots) which is part of the radiation treatment. I have never wanted a tattoo and now I have 8! This is a great post; it inspired me to write one too. The paragraph below the scars you can’t see heading is exactly right 🥹
I also have the dot tattoos, I'll add those to the piece! Only one is really visible, and each time I look at it I'm transported right back to that radiation room. I'm glad it inspired you to write your own version. So many of us are walking around with scars, both visible and not. I find it cathartic to acknowledge and name them.
I know a woman, who, 80 years ago, in 1945, was waiting for her boyfriend to return home from WW II after the war’s end, so they could get married. He did, but she told him she had a lump in her left breast. Turned out to be malignant. No real chemotherapy then, so they amputated her left breast and tore out all the lymph nodes in the left side of her body. Gave her three months to live.
Her boyfriend said let’s get married. At least we’ll have three months together. So they did. That woman lived another 50 years cancer free and had two children. I am one of them.
Incredible story, Judy! It gives me a lot of hope.
This is so true. I have some of those scars you mentioned. I particularly like the permanent dot tattoos forever reminding me of my time with the giant radiation machine nicknamed Vivian by the techs. I had triple negative breast cancer - a scary kind. But here’s to new treatments like immunotherapy that is prolonging lives. 💕
I have the dot tattoos too, Kathie! I love that the techs nicknamed the radiation machine Vivian. I too am so grateful for new treatment options.
Thank you for this thoughtful piece. I have double mastectomy scars, no reconstruction. And scars on my abdomen from ovaries removed. The scars that no one can see. I heard it said lately and this struck me as so true. Once cancer screams in your face it will always whisper in your ear.
I hadn't heard that saying but it really resonates. I'm learning to accept that my cancer journey will never fully be over.
This is lovely and I needed to read it today. I am newly diagnosed with ILC, after a lifetime of chronic illnesses and trauma, including from physical assault. I've always had very low self esteem especially in regards to my appearance, and additionally have always felt that my only use/function was sexual. At 43, I still really struggle with this. It's been about 10 years since my ex stabbed me several times in the abdomen/arm/leg, and then the lapy after to make sure nothing internal got nicked, and some of those scars are very faded but still visible. I had to have my jaw and nose reconstructed and dental implants. I barely got through all of that and then I get diagnosed in October, and all I can think is, losing more pieces. Gaining more scars. More parts to hate.
I hope that I can manage to get it together and deal with this with as much grace as you have demonstrated. 💙
Ki, thank you so much for sharing this. I appreciate your vulnerability. I'm so sorry for your recent diagnosis, especially after all you've already been through. I too have had other trauma in my life, and when I was diagnosed with cancer I remember thinking, "Can I just catch a break already?" For now, just focus on getting through treatment. Then you can start working on the self-acceptance piece💗
I have 3 scars - one on each breast and one in the left armpit. I also have 8 tattoos (dots) which is part of the radiation treatment. I have never wanted a tattoo and now I have 8! This is a great post; it inspired me to write one too. The paragraph below the scars you can’t see heading is exactly right 🥹
I also have the dot tattoos, I'll add those to the piece! Only one is really visible, and each time I look at it I'm transported right back to that radiation room. I'm glad it inspired you to write your own version. So many of us are walking around with scars, both visible and not. I find it cathartic to acknowledge and name them.