The Best Gifts for Someone With Cancer
Things that actually help during treatment
When I was about to start chemo, a friend who’d had breast cancer dropped off a care package. She had filled a basket with all the things that had helped her during treatment, from the practical (nail strengthener for brittle nails, ginger lozenges for nausea) to the comforting (thick socks, herbal tea) to the I-could-cry-at-how-thoughtful (a soft headscarf, a children’s book explaining cancer to kids).
My friend had been through cancer, so she knew exactly what I was going to need. But if you haven’t had cancer, it can be hard knowing what will actually be helpful for someone you love.
To make it easier, here are some gifts that say “I care, you’ve got this.” And they don’t need to be expensive! Some of these ideas cost less than $20.
Believe the hype. This stuff works. Skin can get really dry during chemo, especially your hands, and this cream does a great job at moisturizing and soothing dry and irritated skin. It’s also been tested on people in cancer treatment, so it’s a safe bet. I also used it (and still do!) for chapped or cracked lips.
Pay for a cleaning service
This is a biggie, and arguably the most helpful on the list. My sister pitched in for a cleaning service during my treatment, which allowed me to focus on rest and recovery. If you live nearby, you can ask neighbors or local parenting groups if they have a recommendation for you. Or you can simply buy a gift card for a cleaning service that your friend or family member can use whenever they need.
For a long time I resisted buying these, but I became a convert after a friend gave me a pair. Funny story: her A-list movie star friend had given them to her as a present, but they didn’t fit her, so she gave them to me. Kind of like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon but make it pajamas. They are soft and luxurious, and what I like most is the waistband. It doesn’t dig in, and the pajama pants are comfortable even while you’re sleeping (so many bunch up uncomfortably!). I love these so much I bought a second pair in dark green.
Even though I ran warm during my chemo treatment, I inexplicably craved hot chocolate. I was never a big fan before and haven’t been since, but chemo works in mysterious ways. The frustrating bit was I didn’t have a good pot to make it in, so I’d inevitably splash milk everywhere when pouring it into the mug. I needed a pot with a pourable lip, like this Danish butter warmer. I’d pick the blue but the red is cute too.
Do you know what you really don’t want to do when even sitting up feels like effort? Cook! And if you’re nauseous from the meds, the food smells will make you gag. A Doordash (or Uber Eats or the like) gift card is one of the best things you can give someone going through cancer treatment. You give them the card, they get to pick whatever takeout meal they fancy. If they have a family, make sure the gift card is enough to cover everyone.
Before cancer treatment begins, you really get the urge to nest, in the same way you do when you’re about to have a baby. You’re going to be spending a lot of time at home, and a lot of time in bed, so you want your surroundings to feel as cozy and warm as possible, somewhere you actually want to be. A nice soft blanket or pretty quilt (this Schoolhouse floral quilt is ubiquitous, for good reason) would be so appreciated! Before my mastectomy, literally on the way to the hospital, my husband and I stopped off at Zara Home and bought three blankets. I was like a woman possessed. I needed those blankets.
Home-cooked meal
When I was in the hospital, friends would hand my husband casserole dishes in the school parking lot. It meant so much to us. Start a meal train in your community! It helps take a little load off. Some ideas for family meals that would go down well: Beef/turkey/lentil bolognese with a box of pasta, a bag of salad greens, and a homemade salad dressing in a jar; lasagne or baked ziti; vegetarian chili; chicken soup; you get the gist.
True story: I used my company’s annual health and wellness stipend to buy myself this robe before my mastectomy. Maybe not quite the desk or yoga membership they had in mind, but they approved the expense. Remember what I said about needing to nest? I imagined myself padding around the house wearing this burst of color. And that’s exactly what I did! Low-lift style. For something more neutral, a linen robe is always a win.
The Ordinary 100% Cold Pressed Virgin Marula Oil
I don’t know what it means for an oil to be “100% cold pressed” and “virgin,” but what I do know is this is the best face oil I’ve ever used. I first bought it back in 2019 after going down a rabbit hole researching the best hydrating and anti-aging oils, when I couldn’t justify spending hundreds of dollars on Vintner’s Daughter. I use it every night and my skin is never dry, even in winter. Again, chemo can be drying, so oils are your friend.
Cozy socks
The softer, the better! These aren’t pretty, but this is the vibe you’re going for. Also, everyone should own a pair of cashmere socks.
Deliciously Ella Cacao & Almond Oat Bars
I don’t know how I would have gotten through chemo infusion days and long appointment waits without these. For reasons still unknown, the hospital where I did most of my treatment doesn’t have a cafeteria, or even a café. These bars are delicious and made from simple ingredients, so I could feel good eating them on the go when the hangries set in.
A Kindle book
An eBook says “I know you and your taste and I went to the effort of picking the exact book you’ll love.” Or, if you live in the same city as the person, nothing beats an actual book, fresh and crisp from your local independent bookstore. Write a message in the front and tell them how amazing they are.
Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad is one of the most engrossing memoirs I’ve read. Her chemo experience was grueling, which at times was hard to read when I was nauseous and exhausted, but it helped me feel less alone. Cancer is Complicated is another good option, written in Clea Shearer’s signature no-nonsense tone.
Selection of herbal teas
I stopped drinking my morning Earl Grey during chemo—caffeine made me feel more jittery and thirsty, so I cut it out completely (save for Lindt 85% dark chocolate…I can’t be stopped). But I still liked to have something warm in the morning. This “Christmas Tea” was on sale at my local health-food store, so I picked up a box and never looked back. It’s a Xmas tree farm in a tea, with notes of cinnamon, orange, and cloves. Other great herbal tea options: ginger, mint, or rooibos.
My 8-year-old daughter and I love this series of coloring books. The friend who gifted me the chemo package included a coloring book and markers for my daughter (so thoughtful!), figuring she’d be spending time with me while I rested. She was right. We ended up coloring together snuggled under the duvet, and it’s a ritual we’ve continued post treatment.
Groceries
Imagine opening your front door to bags of groceries someone else bought! I mean, it’s a good gift for anyone, cancer or no cancer. Think staples like milk, bread, cheese, fruit, and some nice treats (dark chocolate covered almonds, potato chips, popsicles—all things I could eat when I was nauseous from the meds).
An annual subscription to a newsletter all about how to navigate cancer
A weekly mix of firsthand experience, practical advice, interviews, and essays about navigating cancer. I might be a little biased:-)
A card and a hug
Because that’s all they really want anyway, to know you see them and love them x
Hi, Alison! Thank you for the great post! You know, I am sometimes challenged with excema. And I also had a client whose wife passed and have received her clothing. After wearing her clothes, I made a promise to myself. I will ONLY wear and use fabrics that soothe my skin and make me feel nurtured and wonderful. My bed blanket is the softest, ever and so is my robe. My wardrobe only consists of those pieces that feeeel goooood. And it says a lot about how I feel about myself!
One friend sent me a shawl that she’d prayed over. I loved it. Kept me cozy when I needed it and helped to prop around my breasts after surgery when I was back and work but still tender.